For my own entertainment (and maybe some of my step mom sisters as well), here is a list of the signs that someone (or maybe yourself) is defining you by your title of Step Mom.
1. "My mom doesn't make it that way." There's probably not a Step Mom out there that hasn't heard a variation of this from their step kids!
2. You are at your stepdaughter's cheer practice and all the mom's are huddled around talking about fundraisers... while you sit with your husband pretending to be 100% focused on what the kids are doing.
3. You let your stepdaughter pick out a tinted lip gloss without giving it much thought. Then panic that she is going to wear it to her Mom's house.
4. You are the first to see school bulletins, emails from teachers and to hear about extracurricular activities but instead of replying you remind your husband to reply. Five times.
5. At school orientations you stand to the side while "parents" fill out emergency contact sheets and kids bustle around putting their supplies away. Pretend not to notice you are the only person in the room with no purpose.
6. The cashier at the store directs a comment to the child about their Mom. Enough said. :)
7. You ask your boss for a day off to attend your step child's choir concert.
8. You call in to work to stay home with your step child because no one else can.
9. You meet your step child's maternal grandmother for the first time. She makes four comments about what a great mother her daughter is in a space of five minutes.
10. You are volunteering at your step child's school. When introductions roll around everyone else is "Joe's Mom" and "Sally's Dad". You are "First Name". Or Mrs. Last Name.
11. "When is Daddy coming home?" is said repeatedly while your husband is working.
12. When planning your step child's birthday your "well meaning" mother-in-law offers to help, you know, since you haven't planned a kid's party before.
13. You try and arrange play dates with other Mom's from your step child's school. They always seem to be busy. But you hear later from your step daughter about her plans with the same kid on her Mom's weekend.
14. "Oh so do you have kids of your own?"
15. Mother's Day rolls around and you get the "Happy Mother's Day" texts from family and friends but no call or mention of it from your step kids.
When do you most feel the "Step Mom" stigma? Do you think its one other people place on you? Or is it our own insecurities?