I can't really explain why. Maybe its because I've exclusively interacted with adults for the last several days and forget how to relate to children. Maybe I'm just tired and it will be the same when I have (biological) children. I really don't know. But for me- Friday nights are rough.
Because of this my dear husband usually lets me sleep in a bit on Saturday morning. He gets up, makes breakfast and hangs out with my stepdaughter until I join them a couple of hours later. And then I'm good. And then I can play and laugh and enjoy the company of my family.
Come Sunday and I'm all in. It's routine. I'm comfortable. She's comfortable. My house is vibrating with life. And I love it. I am so blessed and I never fail to be amazed at this family that fell into my world.
And then it's Sunday evening and it's time. Time to take my step daughter back to her mom's house. Just like that.
And it crushes me. The first several weekends, I cried. I waited until she was gone and then the water works came. Now there aren't tears. Just emptiness.
If you are a stepmom how do you deal with this letdown? How do you pick yourself up every time your stepchild leaves? I'd love to hear from you.
It is a juggling game for sure! I find I was the same way, we've recently been working out our new 50% custody arrangement. I'm definitely not the emotional wreck I was before of constant adjustment... and feeling much better about things! It takes time, just remember to stay in the moment. The little is counting on you to.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment! I wish you the best of luck and hope the new arrangement works out beautifully for your family. Staying in the moment is great advice. For sure a great way to cherish the time we have and not stress my step daughter out.
DeleteI can totally relate on the emptiness! I haven't really found a way to cope yet and it has been over a year now.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and reading! I am hoping it gets better with time for us. I hope your situation improves over time as well. Do you have biological children as well? I'm curious to know whether that makes a difference.
DeleteI only have 2 stepdaughters, no biological children, and I'm very familiar with this emptiness. We have 50/50 custody, so we have 2 days on, 5 days off, then 5 days on, and 2 days off. It's really hard after they have been here 5 days in a row. I come back home feeling like I don't know who I am without them here. I try to just focus on being a wife at that point, but it is really difficult still after 4 years of the same routine. The funny thing is, the kids roll with it much better than we do. They don't feel like 5 days away was an eternity like we do.
ReplyDeleteKids are pretty resilient. I am glad your step daughters handle the back and forth with ease. We are currently trying to convince her bio mom that increasing time at our house will be in my sd's benefit and that she will adjust with ease. Bio mom wants to think her child would never be able to go more than a couple of days without her. But we had a week this summer with no interruptions and sd did great!
ReplyDeleteI know this is old but I have to comment on something. I've been almost an hour reading your blog and crying. I have been a step mom for about 4 years now my little girl is 6. And it's still hard sending her home. We get 50 50 and baby sit during the day but I watch her all day and love and love her like she is mine. And then 6 o clock comes around and I still feel sad but happy knowing she's excited to spend time with her mommy. I'm not sure if it ever goes away really. Also my husband and I have a child together and another on the way so she is going to have two little brothers and sometimes does struggle with her place but we love her just the same as if she was full time with us. I just love your blog. Mckenna.jerman@gmail.com
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