Friday, October 11, 2013

A Wedding Story: Divorced Parents Edition

When I got married in May of this year part of my preparations was making a list of the poses I wanted for my photographer. Upon meeting my photographer I immediately explained to her that my photos would be a little more complicated than "groom's side" and "bride's side". She of course told me that it was no problem and to just make her a list.

 My husband's part was easy. 2 parents, 3 siblings, 1 set of grandparents, 2 sister in laws, a few nephews and of course his daughter. Mine was not. I knew my parents would want their own sets of pictures making my list triple the length of my husband's. I needed pictures with my mom's side, my dad's side and then there were the combined photos that I knew I had to have. This was my opportunity and since I was the bride, how could they refuse me?

Let me back up just a bit. One of my most treasured possessions is a picture of my mom, my dad and I in the hospital after I was born. My parents were married for over five years but for some reason this picture is the only posed one I have that is of the three of us. At my high school graduation I would have loved to change this. But while the majority of my class mates were taking their pictures with mom AND dad, I was running back and forth between two families to take pictures.

At my wedding I knew I wanted a picture of me, my mom AND my dad. I also wanted a picture of me with my three siblings. I have tons of photos of me, my brother and sister. And of me and my two brothers. But none with all of my siblings (in August my baby brother entered the world so now I need a picture including him). And because my family has grown immensely over the past few years, I got both pictures. Even better? It wasn't awkward.

But that picture wouldn't be the only thing my parents blessed me with that day. To my delight and surprise- my parents sat next to each other at my wedding. When I made the seating chart I sat them at different tables. I gave each parent a table to host with their own families. For a few reasons that changed and prior to the ceremony my Mom moved my Dad and his wife to the same table as her and my step dad.

For someone who grew up in a high tension family with parents who could barely be in the same room, seeing my parents seated together at my wedding was the greatest gift. And someday when my step daughter gets married I hope that we can give her the gift of peaceful harmony at her wedding as well.

1 comment:

  1. Your perspective of also having been the stepchild is eye-opening for me. I never realized the kids may want a picture with just their mom and dad (no steps) even though they aren't together. They are still mom and dad. Maybe I should have them take one of those at Christmas this year.