Small Wins

Lately there has been an influx of small wins in our world of co parenting.

Nothing major. Allowing us an hour longer on Halloween. Emailing me pictures from spirit week. Attending a school function as a group.

The result? In the last month I've been amazed at the confidence my step daughter has acquired. At the school event we all went to she went seamlessly from talking to one parent to the other. When I picked her up from her step grandmother's house she showed genuine excitement at me being there. There was none of the usual uneasiness of being around me in front of someone connected to her mom.

This is not to say that we haven't had our share of frustrations over differences of opinion. Or that we are living with our ideal situation. We aren't by a long shot. But when I think back to this time last year and the stress we were under with the impending holidays, I see so much improvement. And if there is this much improvement over twelve short months, how much can it improve in the next twelve months? The next twenty four? I'm optimistic.

How often in our lives do we take the time to celebrate the small wins? How often in our journeys as step moms do we celebrate these small, seemingly insignificant victories? I know I don't often enough.

But when the result of these small wins is a well adjusted kid who bounces seamlessly from house to house with joy? We must stop and celebrate. Because that's what it's all about. It's not about my feelings being hurt because she didn't eat dinner. Nor is it about her mom wanting to control pick up and drop offs for the holidays. Its about this kid that the four of us have been blessed with. And her lighting up when I come to pick her up? You guys, that's the greatest victory I could ask for.