I have a love/hate relationship with holidays. Its (seemingly) inevitable that something comes always up and drama ensues. So as much as I anticipate "our" holidays and love planning them, I always feel the dread and play out the "what could happen" scenarios in my head.
Up until Halloween my gut was always right. A holiday would approach. Drama would arise. The day would come and be great but there was always the aftermath of the drama to deal with. There was always the awkward exchanges and resentment on both sides.
So with our first parenting time agreement deemed Halloween on the horizon I held my breath and waited for the call. You know the call I'm referring to. Every person in the coparenting world knows the call. To my surprise (shame on me for expecting the worst) the call never came. But when my husband let me know that his daughter's mom would be getting her ready at OUR house I planned to stay busy and out of the way. Just to be on the safe side.
Imagine my surprise when she (my step daughter's mom) arrived and told me that she didn't want me to feel like I couldn't help with the getting ready. And when she actually suggested that I do the makeup and she do the hair? I couldn't have been more shocked. But, are you ready for this? It was nice. It was pleasant. It was actually kind of (gasp) fun. And my step daughter? She was over the moon. She loved getting attention from both of us at the same time. She clearly enjoyed having that experience. Of both of her "moms" getting her ready. And isn't that what its all about?
The next day I thanked her mom. Including me was a big step and it was a lovely gesture. Not to mention its what was best for our child. The added bonus is neither of us had to miss out. We both got to be involved.